With more people than ever flocking to apps to find connection, now is an ideal time to get your digital dating dialed in.
List of dos and don'ts for online dating
Here are some tips to bring your match-total up while you hunker down—from your friendly neighborhood dating coach. This is a game-changer. What works best? A flattering, quality portrait that gives the other person a good look at your smiling mug. Too many people make their faces hard to see, obscuring them with poor lighting. Bonus points if they know how to use light and photo filters to amplify your attractiveness. Finally, choose your top three portraits, and ask friends to pick their favorite.
You can also post shots on Photofeeler. Still photography? The League now lets you a video up to 10 seconds in length to your profile, allowing you to more vividly display your awesome personality. Pro tip: For the most dynamic videos, feature an activity, such as water-skiing, shooting hoops, hitting the beach or petting your pooch.
Do use a high-quality photo for your primary picture
And… action! Using selfies as the featured photo is the one reason why perfectly dateable people struggle with online dating. Selfies are almost always poorly lit and are about as flattering as cargo shorts.
If someone cancels plans with you, avoid over-reading the tea leaves. People get busy, or overbook themselves. Be open to giving someone a free pass for flaking. Use it as a chance to be awesome, not bitter—and you might end up with a date.
When they flake, reply with humor. I have a handsome, male-model-looking buddy, and I love the guy—but no way do I need to be competing with him on my profile. A weak profile write-up can sabotage a great primary photo. Crack a joke. Share your favorite Dave Chappelle quote. Be cheeky. Be specific and sincere. Look at their photos, read the description and their interests, and see what strikes you as quirky, interesting or cool.
Bonus points if your question makes them an expert, or allows them to brag.
Meeting people online – the dos
We ALL love being experts. So cool! Puns get a bad rap. But puns work on dating apps like the League.
So pun it up. This pun generator can help you craft punny openers that get replies.
How to do online dating
D are good resources too. The same goes for your profile. Most people wait too long to go for the digits or a date, which makes them seem either afraid of rejection or wishy-washy.
My clients follow my Message Rule. After 10 combined messages, go for the digits or, in this case, the video date. Keeping virtual meets-ups in the app, especially early in a relationship, eliminates the exposure of exchanging personal phone s, Skype IDs or addresses. Video speed dating is, first of all, fun hello, human contact!
Secondly, it is safe and convenient. But most importantly, the match rate for participants is three times higher than it is on the rest of the app. So if you feel like you are striking out in other areas, get online for the next League Live on Wednesdays or Sundays at 9pm. Expect it now and then. Ghosting goes with the territory. But—this is for the guys—avoid being overtly sexual. Getting too sexy-time too soon is a turn-off. However, a flirtatious touch does help spark chemistry, so feel free to sprinkle in some double entendres and innuendos.
Some cheeky wit does wonders. A client of mine recently matched with his dream girl—a smart, beautiful power-lawyer. The opening line that got him a host of heart-face emojis and a first date? Follow him on Instagram at datingtransformation. Save my name,and website in this browser for the next time I comment.