Ah, sweet bedtime. The kiddos are tuckered out and tucked in. Yes, this cringe-inducing scenario is regrettable. But it may not be as bad as you think. Parents can ward off this purely preventable incident by simply installing a locking bedroom doorknob. Once children are old enough to get out of their bed at night, a bedroom doorknob that locks creates safe boundaries for kids — and provides parents with welcome security and peace of mind during sex.
Parents should use them! But what about when your young child has breezed through your lockless or unlocked bedroom door during lovemaking? Start by taking a moment to collect your thoughts and possibly, your clothing. As with any embarrassing situation, your first instinct may not be your best response.
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For children older than 5, an age-appropriate explanation is in order. Do this with a short, reassuring conversation that occurs soon after the walk-in ideally, the following day. And though some forthright children may spit out questions rapid-fire, others may feel too ashamed or nervous to broach the topic and will instead wait for a parent to take the lead.
Ready to broach the big topic? We have a lock on our bedroom door for that reason, and we should have used it.
Leading with an apology lets the child know that she did nothing wrong by walking in, says Leman. Because might be frightened by what he saw, it can be helpful to portray sex as a completely normal, even universal, part of marriage and adulthood.
The best post-walk-in talk is one in which the parent feels comfortable and relaxed, notes Leman. Get the best of ParentMap delivered right to your inbox. Malia Jacobson is an award-winning health and parenting journalist and mom of three who contributes regularly to more than 90 national and regional publications and has written two books on sleep.
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Lock talk Parents can ward off this purely preventable incident by simply installing a locking bedroom doorknob. Now is not the time to introduce new terminology or confusing concepts. Don't feel overly guilty — your child may sense your embarrassment and conclude that sex is shameful.
Do take a moment to collect your thoughts. Don't fumble through a full-on explanation immediately.
Do use simple, age-appropriate language. Don't overexplain or give too many details, especially if the child is younger than 5. Do discuss the matter factually and comfortably with children 5 and older. Don't avoid the topic or wait for children to bring it up. Do let the child know he or she did nothing wrong by walking in.
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Editor's note: This article was originally published in and recently updated. Read Next. How to Manage Tearful Drop-Offs. Related Topics Marriage.
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Share this article with your friends! About the Author. By Malia Jacobson Malia Jacobson is an award-winning health and parenting journalist and mom of three who contributes regularly to more than 90 national and regional publications and has written two books on sleep.
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