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As everyone and this forum is aware, substance use and family relationships are very sensitive issues. It is important that forum users carefully consider their tone when posting. Please do offer supportive advice, but do not insist that there is one way of doing something. Please also be mindful of the original topic of each thread.
Try to make sure that conversations are carried out on the relevant thread. This will help people to navigate the forum and find appropriate support, and it will also prevent certain issues from drowning out others. Thank you very much for ing our forum. These guidelines are for the benefit of our community, and so any posts that do not adhere to all of these guidelines will be removed, and s may be blocked. My 45 daughter has been an alcoholic for four years but first registered alcoholic issues in The last one lasted six days being clean.
She has lost both her children.
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The youngest is with his dad and the elder is 20 so is living with his girlfriend. What do we do. Again we rescued her after six weeks drinking at least a litre of vodka or gin a day delivered by Uber. We just wait for the phone call as her binges last for up to three months.
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Hi my 21yr old son started taking ketamine at uni and quickly became addicted. He has recently started to take 2cb for ketamine withdrawal which i know nothing about. I'm trying to educate myself on microdosing and psychedelics which seem to be showing promising for addiction - but I know he has no idea what he is doing and is replacing one drug for another. Can anyone advise?
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I first found the Adfam forums when I was at my lowest point dealing with my husband's alcoholism. Having been in denial for many years he'd finally sought help, but having been to rehab twice, started therapy, been going to meetings as well as taking medication, he was still going through a cycle of being sober for a while, then relapsing. He would be 'OK' for months at a time, giving me the chance to relax a little, then all of a sudden it would hit hard again.
Well, I'm so happy to say that the last time this happened was in January - early this year he ticked off 1 year sober for the first time since he was a teenager and is still going strong. For us, being in lockdown last year gave him the chance to do some healing and reflect on personal boundaries he needed to set with his family his main triggerso that he could focus on his sobriety.
He still goes to regular meetings and therapy sessions, and has built a good support network around him.
I know that the path is never a straight one, but I'm cautiously optimistic and I'm very proud of where he's been able to get to over the past year and a half. I hope that this gives someone out there some comfort that recovery is possible, even after a few false starts. I'll update again in another year's time - fingers crossed it's all the same story then. Apologies for the long outpouring but this has been inside a long time.
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My husband suffers from anxiety, depression and he has self medicated with alcohol a for years, probably since before we met if I am honest. Living with Jekyll and Hyde, lovable but constant lies, my best friend one minute then spitting at me the next, blaming me for all the wrongs in his life but then saying he cant live without me remembering nothing of what is said and done in drink and sometimes stating things that never actually happened as fact, so sincere that i have been almost convinced they did.
I left my best friend and my soul mate, the love of my life, we had named the children that it turned out we would never have, and there is not one day that i don't both regret and celebrate that decision. I hated what drink did to him, to us. Walking on egg shells, not knowing the person i would come home to, wake up with or some days not know who I was talking with minute from minute. He suggested we might try IVF rather than him going sober and trying naturally.
Secondly - my dad passed away - dad and my husband were great friends and he even spoke at the funeral. But because of what he did and said while drunk the night before I can never forgive him completely. He got so drunk he couldn't speak or walk, cracked his head on the floor falling out of bed and decided that the reason it happened was because I must have pushed him - despite me being in another room preparing a photo board for the funeral.
He ranted raved and told me i was worthless, should fk off and my dad was a forum better person then me My mum was admitted to hospital with fatigue and ill health the day after my dad died and she was just about able to make the funeral. We now live separately, however I still talk to him every day, and see him at least once a week. We still get on well when he is sober ishand user he is in drink until I leave to go home and I really would do anything for him but I can not live with him and the drink anymore. There is one drug member of his who still talks to me - his mum - his dad and brother blame me for our problems and my nieces have been told that and no longer exist, they are 5 and 8.
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His mum and me keep an eye on him, try and make sure he keeps on top of bills, household tasks, looking after himself and we keep in touch with each other when his mental drug takes a dip, he goes missing or phones one of us up suicidal - She only realised the extent of the problem of drink with her son when we separated and I wasn't managing him anymore, so now we do try to support each other a bit. However it is a delicate relationship as he needs to be able to offload about his 'smother' to me and to her about his 'nosy ex wife' He does not want help from professionals - counsellers are all crap, the GP prescribed him anti depressants which he took for 2 days but as he was told he couldn't drink on them, decided after two days they weren't working and went back to drinking 2 days is all he has ever managed at a time alcohol free in at least the last 8 years drug and alcohol services are a no go for him as I am a specialist drug and alcohol social worker and no matter how much i have impressed confidentiality on him, he doesn't believe me.
I have to ignore it when he is drunk, he always tries to pretend he is sober and if I forum go along with the story the aggression flares. I think he actually gets to the point where he believes his own lies. Filling in the swiss cheese of his memory with fantasy and bearable truths. He recently lost his job 6 months after separating as he tested over the limit for alcohol at 8am at work when he was on shift. I suspect and it was a targeted user as he has been going into work smelling of booze from the night before for years.
When we lived together, although it would cause arguments, at least i could stop him drinking by pretending i had drunk the last of the booze and he would just have to go to bed. He has lost lo of weight, his mental health is terrible and now he is depriving himself of sleep this is the newest one, that i really don't know how to handle.
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He has a new girlfriend long distance and when he is with her i breath a sigh of relief as someone else is there to take care of him and I am less worried for a while. She seems to think his drinking is just social and he is the funny life and soul of the party that he always was. But when he is alone again he cant deal with his demons. I have a new boyfriend who is lovely. He knows about and supports my decision to continue the friendship with and support my husband.
I and so scared my husband will kill himself either by taking his own life while under the influence, driving drunk, terrified he will kill someone else too or by malnutrition - i feel like i have tried everything, personally, professionally, emotionally, practically I feel guilty for having left, i don't know what to do for the love of my life - i want to fight those demons for him but know I cant. Even though user was one of the toughest decisions I have made, i suspect my journey with drink is not over, it has just changed. I don't know why I'm sharing this here really.
I guess to see if anyone else may drug or feel some same ways possibly? I'm 29, my mum died 3 years ago and my dad 2 years ago 4 days prior to the first anniversary of her passing. I have so much regret for wasting the time I could have spent with them. Guilt for all the times I said I'd pop forum after work but went for a pint instead.
I just never expected them to not be here. I wrote something and I just wanted to put it here because I know from the other topics no one judges here and i can share it without anyone really knowing its me.
Its not a song or a poem or anything in particular just me trying to talk to my parents Sorry if its shit or doesn't read well Im not by any means a writer I'd say it's hard to put how I feel into words but that's not true, The hard part is putting into words the whole truth, the unspoken thankyou's, the unshown gratitude, the missed opportunity's there was to repay you.
I guess the truth is I never understood the concept of life, or realised that the most precious thing we have is time.
But I can never change how I spent mine, Despite the tears my eyes cry, No amount of photos on the wall can change the fact you both died. I often wonder if I'll ever see you on the other side. I'll use that light to guide me even when I can't see, Then pass it on the most beautiful girl I think the worlds ever seen Mum and dad meet Josie, Josie Janet giles dad I think she has your laugh, and mum she has your smile, For the first time since you left, she's made the world become clearer I'm staring into eyes the same as mine without looking in a mirror from her playground bumps and splitters And for the rest of all my winters I'll love her like you loved me and be the man you knew I was meant to.